Photo by Maud  Chalard
Photo by Maud Chalard

I don’t understand how I feel. 
A part of me has given up on you completely, but the other half is still holding on to stupid what if’s.

I’m not even sure if I still love you, maybe I do, or maybe I just need someone to pass time with. Maybe we’ve become a bit routinary, that I look and crave your presence at times.
But I don’t see you anywhere ahead. And I know that it’s the present that matters, but the future is just as important, and clearly, you won’t be there though you matter now. 
It’s sad. I’m lonely. I’m in the verge of a breakdown. Sometimes, I’d like to think that perhaps, I’m just too intricate, but I’d soon realize how much I’m worth and being left here in the gray area is the root and cause of all this confusion.
So I’ll pose this never ending question that has invaded my head: “How long will I have to put up with something that just won’t go?”

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